Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It's The End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Horrible

Pretty upsetting news in Variety the other day. Michael Bay, apparently not content with ruining the Amityville Horror or Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes, has decided to use his Platinum Dunes production company for even more unnecessary horror remakes. First up is his remake of Friday The 13th, which will apparently be including elements of the sequels(Jason Voorhees is reportedly the killer in the new movie, and he didn't properly start killing until the second film). Now, the Amityville Horror was never a favorite of mine, so it was easy to ignore the new one. Likewise Friday the 13th was always a bit more slapdash and scattershot than some of it's slasher-pic brethren. But what really gets me angry are the films he plans on making next. After the Friday the 13th remake, we can look for a complete reboot of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Full of jittery camerawork and MTV flash cuts, to be sure.

And it doesn't stop there! After that we can look forward to a remake of Near Dark, a pretty nifty vampire movie from 1987. And, to top it all off(for now), a remake of Alfred Fucking Hitchcock's The Birds.

The man must be stopped.

1 comment:

The Effete Bomb said...

At least he's not getting WE3, which was strongly rumored for a while.